Experts

New Zealand fishermen have landed a colossal squid weighing nearly half a tonne. An expert says the calamaris would be like tractor tyres.



A calamari expert.

"That big thing you guys spent loads of money on. Not the London Eye."

This is how a Kenyan woman has just described the Milliennium Dome to me. An easy target, I know, but this is the first time I've heard anyone outside the UK talk about it unprompted.

It's the biggest dome in the world, apparently. Spain is fond of "biggest" or "oldest" claims. We have the biggest hotel in Europe and the oldest restaurant in the world in Madrid. The hotel is a horrid communist-style block on a motorway but the restaurant is nice.

It all sounds a bit like the world's biggest ball of string to me.

Prince Philip worshipped as a God

With spear-throwing natives - as with women - there is a kernel of truth in the old adage, "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen."