Overheard at the deli counter

"Anything else madam? Milk-bread? Eggs?"
"You've already asked me that."
"Yeah but, y'know, just in case..."
"..."
"...truth is I've got that brain disease, y'know that...oh what's it called, y'know, German fella..."
"...?"
"Oh fuck it I can't remember."

Slobodan Milosevic's last words

Slobodan Milosevic is still capable of controversy even after his recent death. The alleged war criminal and courtroom curmudgeon's last words, "I never did trust those 'erbs", have pitched the Indignant Irish Nationalists of O'Serbia into a fierce war of words with the People's Democratic Party for the Eradication of Spices.

"He was killed by the spices!" bellowed Rdancic Klvdic of the People's Democratic Party for the Eradication of Spices.

"He has stuck oor loyalty up his double-crossing ring, so he has" hollered a spittle-flecked Klvdic O'Rdancic, spokesperson for the Indignant Irish Nationalists of O'Serbia.

Germans and toilets

"When your arse makes the noise, your heart feels good."

Bavarian proverb
Told to me in a toilet in a Berlin bar at 6 in the morning.

In the interest of political discussion

John Prescott should be PM. Remember when the lout punched an oaf? That brought politics to the people.



Condom-tax policy is as racy as Gordon Brown gets. Could someone poke me with a stick when he does one of the following?

1) shoots a lawyer,
2) punches a farmer
3) has some clown set fire to the seat of his trousers, screeches like a chimp, runs about in a blind panic and puts the flames out by bouncing on his arse. This happened to a friend and I laughed like a drain.

Mick Hucknall: pop genius or twat?

Click on this unbiased link and judge for yourself: T.W.A.T.